Why Hast Thou Forsaken Me?

I come from a family where ghosts, spirits and the paranormal are accepted as a simple fact of life. The house I grew up in was haunted by a woman we all assumed was Margaret Caldwell. She and her husband came from Ireland and settled on our land in the 1830s, and she and one of her babies are apparently buried on the property, although we’ve never been able to find the burial site.

Often times Margaret would make her presence known….particularly when my dad was doing renovations on the house. Tools he was using would disappear, and would show up across the road in the field. The piano would play at night when we were all in bed. And once, Dad woke up to find his mattress turned upside down and the wrong way around.

And Margaret wasn’t the only one who came back for a visit. I saw my grandmother’s ghost sitting up in her bed shortly after she died.

I tell you all this so you understand why I have fully been expecting an encounter with my dad. Every day since his passing I’ve talked to him and asked him to communicate with me in some way so I know he’s doing OK. And every day, nothing happens. I don’t feel him around me at all. Nothing. Zippo.

Yesterday I went for a walk with a friend, who’s father died a few weeks before mine did. She was telling me how her dad has been with her since he passed away, giving her advice on everything from buying a new car to writing a series of children’s books. He sat beside her the whole time she drove back to the Yukon from Ontario. However this week he told her that he had to move on because there were other things he needed to do, and she was lamenting the fact that she could feel him getting further and further away from her.

The more she talked, and more cheated and angry I felt. I silently berated my father…if her dad could do all that, why couldn’t my own father have taken just a bit of time to let me know he’s alright. I’m not asking for a lot of his time…just a few minutes really. Why the silent treatment? I was furious with him. Still am. I often feel Mom around me, so what’s up with my father??


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