Pondering an Age Old Question

On Sunday night, as I drove home from the first of several tango classes I’ve signed up for, I found myself once again pondering that age old question: “Why don’t men like to dance?” This stream of thought was brought on by the fact that women outnumber men by about 2-1 at these classes.  This is too bad because it’s certainly no fun standing around waiting to share a man on the dance floor!

Actually, I should qualify my comment about men not wanting to dance. In my experience, Latin men LOVE to dance.  In general, many European men love to dance.  It seems that it’s North American men who have a particular aversion to cutting a rug.

Take my husband for instance. Here’s a guy who’s got good rhythm and coordination. But when the topic of dancing comes up, the small muscles in his face start to twitch and I can see the ‘fight or flight’ instinct kick in.

Over the years I admit to using begging, cajoling and bullying tactics when trying to convince him to take couples dance classes with me. Nothing has worked.  

Nor are my two boys any better. I suggested that as part of a well-rounded education, they should let me teach them some basic dance steps. “Thanks but no thanks” was their general response. I tried to make them understand how popular they’d be with the girls if they’d only just learn to dance a little. That didn’t elicit any excitement either.

It’s not that I’m any great shakes as a dancer myself. But great isn’t the point here. It’s all about the joy of moving to music, and to do that with another person is endorphin-producing, particularly if they know how to lead. 

Out of curiosity I did a google search and came up with these answers to the question of why men don’t like to dance. What about you? What are your thoughts on this?


5 thoughts on “Pondering an Age Old Question

  1. I hope you don’t think you’re talking about *me*, Michael.

    I’ve gots no answers, but I join you in the questioning. Happily for me, though, Michael seems to be interested in SOMEDAY taking dance classes, when we don’t have other duties in the way. We did do a couple of classes for our wedding. I totally muffed it up at one point — it was a bit different dancing with a heavy train in my hand!


  2. I haven’t been able to get them to dance either. When I was younger, I did the begging a cajoling too. Not that I’m a great dancer myself – apparently I hear the off-beat instead of the beat, but that can be remedied nicely by a dance partner who can lead. I took ballroom dancing classes once and there weren’t enough men, and the ones who were there were older men who were mostly there for the chance to make contact with the young women. Dancing was an opportunity to feel us up. After that, I vowed I wouldn’t take another class until I could take my own partner with me. I’m still waiting.


  3. You really should know the answer to this one. Simply put, It’s all your fault. In the beginning we (males) could not do much of anything to suit you, and you let us know that. So now … You’ll just hafta take take what you get. Like Momma used to tell me, “You hafta take responsibility for the seed that you sow”.



    1. Maybe it’s because of the stereotype that white men can’t dance… I have yet to see a white male at a dance club that doesn’t look like a complete moron. I know that this is a gross generalization but the vast majority of white dudes I’ve seen dancing really suck. Just an observation.


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